Striking a nerve An Optic nerve!
by KingStonecold
Summary: The Knight-king, Stonecold, and his court mage/best friend Jackhammer, face a pair of powerful new foes. Warning! Not how the actual fight plays out. let your criticism be constructive, but don't be afraid to tear me a shiny new one if you feel i deserve it.


It was a stormy evening in Terraria. Savage winds blew across the land, howling through the halls of Fort Stonecold. The majestic building hovered high above both Hallow and Crimson, safe from their transformative grasp.

"This is going to be a terrible night…." Remarked Stonecold, as he watched the sun set from the balcony of his castle, his adamantite armour protecting him from the rain. He shuddered, feeling the dark presence of a terrible evil. Stonecold activated the radio transmitter in his helm.

"Jackhammer. Come to the balcony. I think the Twins have awoken."

"I'm coming up now. Bloody monsters, always attacking on rib night…"

The beatings of wings were heard, with the titanium armoured Jackhammer flying up to the main balcony, spells at the ready.

"Okay, let's get this over with." He said with a sadistic smile.

Stonecold drew his weapon, the Adamantite Long sword, from its scabbard at his hip. "Let's do this!" he exclaimed, spreading his wings as he leapt from the balcony. He extended his wings into a gliding position, and levelled off just before he hit the ground. He folded his wings and let his feet hit the ground, drawing to a halt. He snapped his fingers, and his helm changed shape, the visor falling over his face, the HUD activating in his lenses. He checked his vitals and mana levels, waiting for Jackhammer to arrive. A mere second later, Jackhammer landed, his obsidian horseshoe warding away any injuries that would have been caused by the fall.

As the sun fell over the horizon, the moon rose. A chilling roar was heard, setting the heroes on edge. Turning, they saw the Twins. A pair of eyes, one with a green iris, the other red.

**_"_****_Why…..why do you bother fighting?" _**a masculine voice went, seemingly coming from everywhere. Stonecold looked up at the Twins, and saw that the eye with the red Iris was glowing.

"We protect Terraria! Back down now, or suffer the same fate as the Destroyer!" Stonecold yelled at them, trying (and failing) to sound righteous. Jackhammer simply said "Let's just get this over with before they run out of ribs at the castle canteen."

**_"_****_Oh, well. If you insist, we should at least tell you the names of the ones who shall kill you. I am Retinazer…."_**

**_"…_****_.and I am Spasmatism." _**added another voice, this one feminine. The eye with the green iris was glowing this time.

**_"_****_AND NOW, YOU SHALL BOTH DIE!" _**they called in unison. The two eyes split up, Retinazer turning intangible and passing through the ground, and Spasmatism charging at Jackhammer, spewing green flames along the way. Jackhammer spread his wings and flew upwards, evading both Spasmatism and her flames. He performed a quick incantation, and a storm of small, sharp crystal shards materialised in his palm. With another incantation, the swirling hurricane of precious stones flew at the eye, piercing it.

**_"_****_ARRGH!" _**yelled Spasmatism, obviously in pain. **_"Your turn, Brother!" _**she called, diving through the ground.

Retinazer rose from the ground, and unleashed a burst of laser fire at Stonecold, who raised his sword in a defensive position. The laser blasts hit the blood red metal of the Adamantite Long sword, heating it up to white hot levels, and caused the blade to catch fire. Retinazer charged at Stonecold, who drew back his blade and thrust forward. The flaming dual tips of the adamantite long sword pierced Retinazer's pupil, followed by several other slashes. This left Stonecold wide open however, and he was hit in the chest with a blast from the eye.

"AARRRGGGHHH!" cried out Stonecold, as a sizeable hole was torn in his breastplate. Reaching behind him, he grabbed his megashark and released a torrent of crystal bullets in Retinazer's direction as the eye flew underground, calling out Spazatism as he fled. The second of the twins hovered over Stonecold, readying her cursed flames.

**_"_****_BURN IN HELL!" _**exclaimed Spasmatism, and let loose a jet of the green flames. The fires began to superheat Stonecold's adamantite armour. It was like being wrapped up in tinfoil, and left in the world's hottest oven.

Stonecold closed his eyes, and waited for death's cool embrace. That embrace never came, for several explosions rang out through the night. The flames had stopped, and he opened an eye. He saw Jackhammer, holding a handful of dynamite, lobbing stick after stick at the monstrous eye. Smiling at this, Stone climbed to his feet, tore off his ruined armour (which had started to melt), and readied his blade. He spread his wings, and took off.

His face now practically radiated hatred as he flew to Spasmatism and landed on top, stabbing into her pupil repeatedly.  
"*&%# YOU, SPASMATISM!" Stonecold cursed as he tore Spasmatism apart, punching the soft tissue until….

**_CLANG_**

Stonecold hissed in pain as he felt what it was like to punch thick steel with his bare knuckles. IT. FREAKING. HURT.

Spasmatism flew off at astounding speed, throwing Stonecold off. Once Spasmatism had gotten to a considerable distance, she began to revolve rapidly in place.

"SHOOT HER!" called Stonecold as he flew to retrieve his megashark. Jackhammer complied, and launched a barrage of crystals from his palms. He glanced sideways to see Stonecold airborne again, revving up the megashark and unleashing a stream of crystal bullets.

Jackhammer turned his head to the front, and saw that Spasmatism had stopped spinning. Then, he saw a bloody explosion, and out of the bloody splatter, a steel orb flew at them. The orb had an open mouth, filled with extremely sharp teeth. Mounted inside the mouth was a flamethrower.

**_"_****_It feels good to be out of that fleshy shell." _**said the now-mechanical Spasmatism. **_"As thanks, I'll make this relatively quick!"_** She charged at the two, spewing far more intense flames.

_(I'm my own master now starts playing)_

"Oh, it is **ON**" yelled Stonecold, readying his sword, and dashing at Spasmatism.

"Oi, Stonecold! Head back to the castle and grab some ne- You're not *&%#ing listening aren't you" Jackhammer deadpanned, prepping another crystal storm.

Stonecold flew under the jet of flame, and started slashing at the steel exoskeleton of Spasmatism, sparks flying with each slash. He was laughing like a madman.

"Ah, what the hell," sighed Jackhammer. "I'll let the guy have his fun." He watched the display of his best friend flying around Spasmatism as she kept turning to try and incinerate him. It was actually kind of funny. Jackhammer chuckled to himself, keeping a constant stream of crystal shards flying at the mech. After a while, of this, Spasmatism caught fire, and started to lose altitude, before falling from the sky altogether.

**_"_****_Damn…..you…..you two are good…just…one detail…" _**coughed the voice of Spasmatism. **_"You…..forgot…..about….my...br-" _**She never finished her sentence, as her mechanical shell exploded, throwing flaming debris every-where.

A pile of hallowed metal was left at the centre of the blast, along with Spasmatism's flamethrower unit and a ball of green energy. As Stonecold walked towards these, about to grab the loot, he heard a familiar voice say:

"**_YOU KILLED HER! YOU KILLED MY SISTER! NOW, I'LL KILL YOU!"_**

"I KNEW I was forgetting something!" said Jackhammer, followed by a facepalm. "It was this asshat."

"Oh, yeah, this guy. He doesn't really seem that dangerous. I mean come on! He hid for the whole fight with his sister!" mocked Stonecold.

**_"_****_YOU LAUGH NOW, BUT SOON YOU WILL KNOW TRUE AGONY!"_**

"Yeah, yeah, shut up." taunted Stonecold, a cocky smirk on his face. "You want vengeance? Earn it, Cyclops!"

**_"_****_YOU DARE CALL ME CYCLOPS!? I CHANGED MY MIND. I WONT KILL YOU; I'LL LEAVE YOU ALIVE TO PAY FOR YOUR INSOLENCE WITH RELENTLESS PAIN!"_**

Retinazer was now radiating pure, unadulterated anger. In his rage, he fired a rapid stream of laser fire, hitting Jackhammer in his wing and Stonecold in his sword arm.

**_"_****_NOW, TIME TO SUFFER!" _**

"Hey, Jackhammer!" called Stonecold. "Would you kindly throw me the 'cursed flames' spell tome?"

"Fine, but stop with the 'would you kindly' bullcrap!" returned Jackhammer, tossing the book at Stonecold.

Stonecold flipped through the book, and performed the incantation within. As he did, a ball of purple fire began to grow in the palms of his free hand. When he finished, he snapped the book shut and tossed it over his shoulder.

**_"_****_OH, A NEW TRICK. LIKE THAT'LL SAVE YOU!"_** mocked Retinazer, as he charged another round of lasers.

"Oh, just SHUT UP!" yelled Stonecold and Jackhammer in unison, as they both fired their spells. The crystal shards from Jackhammer dug into the already damaged tissue of Retinazer's pupil, while Stonecold's cursed flames set the eye alight.

"How does it feel to be set on fire? Hurts, doesn't it."

"Stonecold, wrong eye. You're thinking of Spasmatism. This is Retinazer."

_SCANNING COMEBACK LINES DATABASE. SCANNING….SCANNING…..  
SUITABLE COMEBACK LINE FOUND_

"SHUT UP!"

Retinazer had had enough of this. He flew off, and like his sister before him, started to revolve rapidly in place. Stonecold reached for the megashark, and let loose another hail of gunfire. Another bloody explosion was seen, and out of the red mist flew another steel orb. Unlike Spasmatism, Retinazer had a laser cannon jutting out the front, with no mouth.

**_"_****_NOW, I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU REGRET LIVING IN THE FIRST PLACE!"_**

"Jackhammer! I've got an idea! Keep him busy for a moment, okay?" yelled Stonecold as readied his ivy whip.

"Fine, just don't take long!" responded Jackhammer. "He's not easy to dodge without wings!

**_"_****_YOU FOOLS! KNOW THAT I CAN HEAR YOU!"_**

"Maybe, but can you read minds?"

**_"_****_HUH. TOUCHE."_**

"Exactly. Now hold still." Said Stonecold as he anchored his ivy whip to the ground, and then launched the other end at Retinazer's cannon, pulling the death star wannabe to the ground.

"Now then. WASTE HIM!" called Stonecold as he began firing a burst of cursed flames at the steel orb. Jackhammer joined in with his crystal shards, and soon, Retinazer stopped struggling, and fell to the ground.

**_"_****_I….can't…..believe….how much….I….UTTERLY HATE…you two…..*&%#...you….ugh" _**Like his sister before him, Retinazer succumbed to his damage and exploded, launching debris everywhere. The blast seemed to dissipate the rain clouds, leaving the sky perfectly clear. In the centre of the crater was another ball of green energy, along with Retinazer's laser cannon and more hallowed metal. Stonecold walked over to the pile of metal and picked it up, absorbing the green energy in the process. He then went over and gathered the metal from Spasmatism's crater, absorbing the energy over there as well.

"Ah well, to the victor go the spoils." He remarked as he flew for the castle. Jackhammer activated his magic mirror, teleporting back to his room in the castle. While Stonecold was running for the forge, Jackhammer was making a mad dash for the canteen.

"WHERE ARE THE RIBS!? IT'S NO USE TO HIDE THEM! I CAN SMELL THEM!" howled Jackhammer, madness in his eyes.

"Uh, Jackhammer, we kind of ran out of ribs just thirty seconds ago. Stonecold ran through and grabbed the last plate of them on his way to the forge." said the nurse, with fear in her voice.

Upon hearing this, Jackhammer fell to his knees in a vader-esque fashion and cried **"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"**

Stonecold chuckled as he heard his friend's cry of anguish and hatred, assembling a new suit of body armour from the remains of the twins.


End file.
